Seventeen months....

.... Where did it go?

I haven't posted much about Toby in a long time.  I don't put a lot of Toby around online anywhere.  I'm super conscious of it.  Not so much the security aspect, but more so the fact that it's all so public, and my experience of people who I especially know IRL who like to know the inner workings but not play an active part in my life... Well, it still stings.

But this one is about Toby.

He's so grown up now.  He'll be seventeen months old in three days.  And I can't believe where that time has gone.  I understand now, what people really mean.

He's still blond.  Some say strawberry.  Shane hates that, and refutes it, saying there's no red in our family.  How wrong he is though.... My sister is red, and my grandpa was red to say the least.  He takes after his mama when it comes to hair, and he still doesn't have much.  It's beautiful and fine, and I love how grown up he looks when I brush it into his little boy look.

His beautiful blue eyes melt my heart.  He is still his big brother to me.  I mean he is everything I imagined his big brother would look like.  But that's as far as my imagination takes it because he is through and through my Toby.

::::

He walks everywhere now and protests if I put him in the pram.  I love walking with him, holding my hand.  He's still learning that he must hold my hand if we're out and about in town, but he's getting there and I love it when he reaches for mine.

We go to a music group every Wednesday.  We've been going for about three months now and I love how much he has "blossomed".  He joins in some now, and when he doesn't know how he watches intently.  His confidence has skyrocketed.  He knows the routine.  I love to see him go and sit on the mat after our songs and eat his morning tea with the other kids.  And the way he plays for so long then seeks me out, mostly just as I'd to say "look at me, ma".  When we first started he wasn't yet walking.  Now he runs.

He's not talking a lot yet.  Or at least doesn't have a lot if discernible words.  One of his first words was "BA" for Simba, our dog.  He has the occasional "Da", and many versions of "mum".  Plenty of times through the day I hear "awwww mummmmm" usually whining in response to something he's not allowed.

He's cute.  It's not my bias, but everyone says so.  Today when we were out at lunch I heard the man behind us telling someone on the phone about the cute little boy standing there watching him, and two old ladies came to talk to him and tell us how cute and what a good little boy he is.  And he is, good I mean.

He also says a version if "hello".  Yeah (usually accompanied by exaggerated nods) and no (nah nah nah nah nahhh).  He has the cutest way of waggling his tongue as he's pronouncing his words when in full flight, and I can't wait to be able to understand more of them.  It must be so frustrating.  He is working out ways to make himself understood though.  He tries to physically manhandle me off the couch, and if I don't get it he will stand in front and plonk down to the floor to let me know he wants me to sit and play.  Or he leads me to the fridge to show me what he wants.  Usually to steal a mushroom.  I don't know wha his fascination is as he doesn't even like them.

He loves his food, which is so great.  He'll easily polish off 1/4 quiche or half of a chicken schnitzel with veges...he loves fruit, and I have to actually say no at times as hell bring me banana after banana or have a meltdown in the fruit department of the supermarket because he wants his favorite, a mandarin!

He's not a fan of eggs straight up, boiled or fried, but will usually eat them disguised as quiche or "pancake".  Mushrooms, no thanks.  But loves peas.

He is a mini me of his dad.  He copies Shane in everything, and I'm constantly trying to remind his daddy that what is cute now may not be the way we want to shape our young man.  Of course, daddy doesn't get that, but I guess it's my job as the mama!

He has a cheeky grin, and raises his shoulders and puts his head to the side.  Major cheekiness.

He loves to go outside, and this week he has started making a beeline to the back door, gumboots in hand from the minute he gets up.  It's heartbreaking though as we just can't be outside all of the time and he cries and cries, with the bottom lip dropped right down.

He's an explorer and hard work when we're out.  He doesn't play well (tho it seems not a lot do, as I'm told) and is constantly into everything he shouldn't be.  We live on a farm, and it's just an old farm yard with too much to ft into to be unsupervised.  The fences are "farm fences" so he could climb through them if he wanted to try.  There's a dam just 50m down our driveway, and a railway line 100m away. There are sheds with old broken equipment and drums that you just wouldn't know what was in them.  They've been there since time began.  The crop beside the house is taller  Han him should he wander in. It all worries me.  Not at he gets a chance, but things an happen so quickly.  And snake season is about to start, so I'm nervous about him wandering ven with me close by.

::::

He doesn't sleep all night, but he is starting to.  He still has at least one breastfeeding and sometimes two or three.  I used to stress about these points as it seems that there are written rules about how things should be at this age, but then I happened to meet a couple of people on separate occasions who really made sense to me.  He is still in our room, and it's me who will find it hardest to move him out.  I love having him close to me.

He has a teddy bear.... "Bundles".  It's a Little freebie bear we got before he was born.  He was never a big one for bears but all of a sudden it clicked for him and Bundles sleeps in his arms.  Melts my heart.

He's ticklish.  Very.  And gets hot feet in bed like mummy, so no socks please.  He loves to dance, and concentrates very hard on his next move.  He loves to "drive" sitting on my knee, steering and "changing gears" (between here an the road... The benefits of a long driveway and being on a farm!).

::::

That's my boy.